Carolyne Williams

My name is Carolyne Christian Williams. I am 27 years old. I am a young breast cancer warrior & advocate. I thought ‘Finally, puberty!” when, at 26, my boobs started growing. I was busy. I had a simple part time job with a normal NON benefits package, and was dedicating myself mostly to my passion of animal rescue, so the thought of a slightly prettier package was a welcome thought in my busy low income world. I didn’t realize that this pleasant surprise was the beginning of an unpleasant, but eye opening journey.

I wasn’t a late bloomer. I was a 26 year old woman with a breast cancer diagnoses. Before I was a 26 year old woman with a breast cancer diagnosis, I was a 26 year old woman with a Misdiagnosis. “You’re a healthy, YOUNG, woman. There’s nothing to worry about.” “You’re too young for breast cancer.” “It’s an infection.” “It’s probably just a cyst.” It’s easy to believe the doctor when he looks you in the eye and tells you nothing could possibly be that wrong. It’s easy but it isn’t always safe. Sometimes, more times than people realize, that lump, bump, or tenderness in a 19, 20, or 26 year old woman is not a temporary discomfort. Sometimes it is cancer.

Sometimes girls who are just barely women are destined to become breast cancer warriors, and I’m in the ranks. And I’m unique. I pride myself on my uniqueness, but my body’s shot at unique, read: bizarre, rare, and non-curable, with a disease that accounts for all of 1/10th of 1 percent of all breast cancers . . . I could have lived without. My tumor that I had once mistaken for a chance at big boobs was diagnosed as malignant cystosarcoma phyllodes. It is a sarcoma, a rare type of cancer made of connective tissue and blood, that forms in the breast. It doesn’t react to chemo. It doesn’t react to radiation. To be quite blunt it doesn’t react to anything besides a scalpel, and after that doctors don’t know what the hell to do with you. Especially the general surgeon you’ve got to grab because as a non insurance holder you don’t deserve good care. I was treated coldly, to be kind, because this is America, and money talks. Basically I had no voice. I had medical bills, half a missing breast, good doctors, bad doctors, and two polar extreme futures to look forward to: my tumor could be removed and never ever come back again. Normal life. My tumor could spread with a vengeance, and effectively end me before I’ve really even begun. I don’t know where I stand. I know phyllodes tumors often relocate. I know that my ovaries are acting funky to put it mildly. I know that if I had insurance I’d probably know the cause. I don’t have insurance. I don’t know the cause. I don’t have it in me to sit still and do nothing either. If I can’t fight with chemo, radiation . . . a blow torch, my own cancer then I’ll do everything in my power to fight my friend’s cancer. Pet rescue was my charity of choice from an early age. Animals are my passion of choice, the loves of my life, a comfort I’ve always known. Breast Cancer is this terrifying heartbreaking life changing disease that has wounded me, has the potential to end me, and has connected me to women I’d now consider my sisters. Spreading breast cancer awareness was a cause thrust upon me. It’s a cause bourn of my own pain and the pain of my friends who have helped me through this from the very beginning. I spread awareness for Bridget, Stefani, Angela, myself, and all women especially young women, like me, dealing with the effects of this torturous disease. I spread awareness for Courtney Paige Clevenger, the little sister of my heart, who so very recently passed away after the hardest three year fight and rallying effort a human being could give. She should still be here. This world is less bright, less special, less helped because she is no longer in it. I spread awareness because I love my friends, and I can’t lose any more. I spread awareness because I have plenty of good left to do on this earth before I go. I spread awareness because the world can not afford to lose another beautiful, wonderful, woman like Courtney. Courtney Paige Clevenger was 23 years old when we lost her on 9/15/08.